Jayhawk decided he need to speak with Incontinentia. Urgently. He approached the tethering area and tapped the purple-robed figure on the shoulder.
"Incon, we'd appreciate your help with this scroll..." his voice faded as the figure turned around to reveal, not the Governor of Londinium, but her faithful (and rather buxom) servant Letitia.
"You're not Incon!" Jayhawk blurted.
Letitia giggled and batted her eyelashes. "My lady was called away a few days ago," she explained. "Something about opening a branch of her governor's palace in a faraway, Southern place. She had Titanicus 'magic' her there, I think." Suddenly she looked past his shoulder. "Oh - there, my Lord! She's back! Here she comes!!"
Everyone turned to see an approaching small whirlwind of sand. It culminated in a flash of light and a thunderclap at the edge of the camp. When the sand cleared away, there stood Incon.
Several of the Egyptian soldiers started praying at the sight. The Romans just gasped - not at the arrival, but at what she was wearing. Her governor's robe and gown had been cut to a fetching "mini" length. Her sandals had been replaced by hiking boots, she carried a large rucksack, her skin was tanned browner than they'd ever seen...but, oddest of all was her headgear. She sported a wide-brimmed hat with small corks hanging by strings around the rim. She grinned widely at them all.
"G'day, mates!" she cried happily. "Strewth, it's good to be back! Oy - Jayhawk, me old mucka! What's the good word?"
Jayhawk's jaw dropped slightly. Lethargic's eyebrows shot skyward.
"Stone the flaming crows," Incon laughed, approaching the group. "Yew all look like you've seen the ghost of Ned Kelly! Oy - who's thirsty?" She started producing several dark bottles, and passed them around. She handed one to Zen. "Strike a light - I've not seen you round before! Still, no worries, right? Have a brew!"
Zen looked at the label of the bottle she'd handed him. On it was the image of a small, furry, podgy creature, with the words "Wombat's Piss" above it.
"Incon - where've you been?" Lethargic asked.
"And why are you talking in that...erm, *unusual* accent?" Jayhawk couldn't help adding.
"Eh? Oh, I've been in the Land of Wonder! The Land of the Long Weekend! Y'know - Down Under!"
"Mediolanum??" Lethargic ventured.
Incon looked at him, then laughed. "That's a good 'un! No worries, mate! Oy - who fancies a bit of bush tucker?" She started pulling various alien foodstuffs out of her bag.
Zen picked up a white, bulbous...something, and took a bite out of it. "This is nice," he commented, chewing, "...tastes kinda like chicken. What is it?"
"That's a widgety grub," Incon informed him. "Very good for yer. Lots of protein."
Zen spat the cooked grub out immediately, tried to wash the taste out with a swallow of Wombat's Piss...then immediately regretted he had.
"Now," Incon looked around, "where's that pucka pachaderm of mine?" She raised two fingers to her mouth and gave Tusky's special whistle. The ground shook as the madly galloping elephant made a beeline for the group. The Egyptian soldiers parted rapidly. Tusky screeched to a halt before her, trumpeted with joy - then dropped his trunk when he saw how she was dressed. His eyes popped. His mouth fell open.
"TUUUUUUSKEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Incon whooped, sounding more like her old self for a moment. She hugged the stunned animal's trunk. "G'day, me big grey mate! I've missed you so much, pal!!"
Big Tusky looked to Jayhawk for help. Jayhawk just shrugged.
"So - any of me old mucka's kiddies been found yet?" Incon asked.
Jayhawk took her to the campfire (repeatedly refusing offers of a widgety grub all the way), and began to fill her in on the details of the adventure thus far...
(Sorry this was so long-winded, folks, but I didn't know how to jump back in the story! Can I meet Ramesses??)