Tusky ambled to a stop among a copse of trees as dusk set, and began browsing among the leaves. Everyone climbed down.
"Any idea where we are?" mouse asked.
"I'm not sure," Incon replied. She turned to MRed. "MRed, you've got such nice hair. Looks great."
"Why...thank you, Incontinentia," MRed smiled and patted her hair.
"But how'd you like it to be *really* soft and manageable?"
"Sorry?" MRed raised her eyebrows.
Incon pulled a shampoo bottle with a bright label from her pocket. "With Plantene Pro Curly, you can have the hair you've always wanted!" She turned to mouse and Ankhy. "Works wonders on fur, too. No more tangles!"
MRed and mouse looked at each other, confused. 'Hotep said "Well, we can camp here for the night. I'll go find us some water."
"There's no need for that," Incon said, and pulled several bottles of dark, fizzing liquid from the other pocket. "Shmoka-Mola is the drink for all occasions! Here, everyone - try some. It adds life to any gathering!" She handed the bottles round.
"Incon," mouse said, "...are you feeling OK?"
"Never felt better in my life," Incon grinned. "And that's because I take Branatogen Chewable Multi-Vitamins with Iron. They're good for what ails ya!" She produced a small pill bottle.
Now everyone was becoming a bit worried. "Maybe the adventure's been a bit too much for her," 'Hotep whispered to the others.
Incon overheard him. "Not at all, my friends," she smiled broadly. "But when I *am* all tuckered out from a day's hard adventuring, I just lie back on my Comfy-Down Majorette Bed. The bed with 25% more down filling in its mattresses than other brand names. You won't find a more relaxing sleep!"
"OK, she's starting to freak me out a little, here," MRed said warily. She pulled out her trusty leather pouch and started rolling up a herbal.
"MRed - don't use *those* tatty old rolling papers," Incon said, and handed her a small paper packet. "Try these - Bizzlas! The rolling paper with extra smoothness built into every sheet! You'll never find a smoother smoke!"
"Cut it out, already!" mouse cried. "Incon - you're scaring us! What's wrong?"
Incon smiled insanely, opened her mouth to say something...then gave up, and looked down. "Sorry, guys. I just can't do it..."
"Do what?" they asked in unison.
"Well...you know those, erm, *cashflow* problems I was having awhile back? And how the TSB Praetorian Guard were always on my tail?"
They all nodded.
"Well, I kind of found a temporary solution to my financial difficulties. They said they'd stay off my back if I...if I...oh, lordy, this is humiliating...if I agreed to do some - you know, advertising for them. Product placement."
"Oh, *dear*," MRed said sympathetically.
"That's not the worst of it, though," Incon added, and went over to Tusky. Reaching up under his back blanket, she withdrew a slender cord and pulled it. A huge, bright blue banner unfurled down his flank. On it in wide red letters was printed "EAT AT WINNIUS'S!!! Finest steakhouse in Rome!!"
Tusky lowered his head in utter embarrassment.
"Well....you, er, tried," mouse muttered.
"And you really had me interested in that shampoo. I'm tempted to switch brands," MRed added.
"Really?" Incon looked at them all hopefully.
"Let's worry about it tomorrow," 'Hotep said firmly. "MRed, you gather firewood. mouse and I will get some water. And I've *got* to get this runny kohl off my face..."
"I've got just the thing!" Incon chirped, and whipped out a small ceramic pot. "Shmivea Cream - the make-up remover of make-up artists!! Now with 35% more moisturising--"
"That's enough advertising, pal," MRed snatched the pot away, and patted Incon on the back reassuringly.