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Caesar IV Heaven » Forums » Story Archives » Roman Civil War: Take Three
Topic Subject:Roman Civil War: Take Three
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Eminence Grise
posted 05-07-99 10:26 ET (US)         
Let's try this a gain with a fresh thread.
The first post here will contain most of the story. I tried to get most of the formatting in there, but if I missed out on anything...I'm sorry

Homage to thee, Osiris, Lord of eternity, King of the Gods, whose names are manifold, whose forms are holy, thou being of hidden form in the temples, whose Ka is holy."
-- Book of the Dead (1240 BC)

Eminence Grise
posted 05-14-99 15:43 ET (US)     26 / 98       
Tusky, sneaks through the undergrowth, while a delighted Ankhy is head butting and licking Incon's arm, all the while purring like a little engine.
"I know you like me, but calm down, you'll give us away."
The elephant halts by a little stream. A 1000 campfires burn in the night, soldiers wandering and singing by the fire in a dozen different languages. The Armies of the East.
"Hurry, Tusky, Anthony is here, I can feel it in my blood."

Somewhere along the Delta.
"Put me down. Put me down! Who do you think you are!" Cleo's swatting at Reck with her flail, hitting him and his cloud control.
"Ouch, ouch, let go, careful with that flail, careful you'll hit the red butt...oh, no..."
"Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhhh "

In the Senate.
Tablets are flying hither and yon. Senators are calling each other names and the guards are laying bets on when the first punches will fly. Then the torches gutter and cloak flying behind him, Jahekemhotep walks in.
Silence falls like a ton of bricks.
"It's him again. It's the Egyptian" Whispers rush like wildfire.
"Gentleman, I bring news from Marc Anthony. His forces are within a few miles from the city. They consist of most of the Eastern Legions, Levantine troops and some Illyrain irregulars."

Then a voice sounds behind him.
"What do you mean, Anthony is here?"
Followed by his personal guard, Pompey walks into the senate.

Homage to thee, Osiris, Lord of eternity, King of the Gods, whose names are manifold, whose forms are holy, thou being of hidden form in the temples, whose Ka is holy."
-- Book of the Dead (1240 BC)

Reckless Rodent
HG Halo Alumnus
(id: Angel Reckless Rodent)
posted 05-14-99 16:05 ET (US)     27 / 98       
"Sir," said Pompey. "You must be getting your information from a bent source - the Levantine and Eastern legions are at this moment crossing the Mediterranean to join my troops south of the city."

"That's what you think," answered Jahekemhotep. "In fact, they are supporting Caesar, as you will soon find out to your cost."

"I don't know who you are, but I don't like your attitude. I'll have you know that I'm the foremost General in the Roman Empire, sworn to uphold the Republic with my life if necessary. Guards, seize him!"

As the guards approached, Jahekemhotep uttered some sort of an incantation in a tongue that none of the assembled Romans quite understood, and wrapped his cloak around him. Then, in a puff of smoke, he disappeared, leaving everyone in the Senate seated in stunned silence.


Reck and Cleopatra were heading towards the ground at an alarming rate. Reck wrestled with the controls but to no avail. He frantcally pressed a few of the buttons he hadn't tried before. Nothing. In desperation, he flicked a switch labelled "For emergency use only". There was a small explosion as the back end of the cloud was blown off to reveal a small but serviceable parachute, which slowed Cleo and Reck's rate of descent.

A minute or so later, they touched down in the desert. "Great," said Reck. "How do we get ourselves out of this one?"

HG Alumnus
posted 05-14-99 16:25 ET (US)     28 / 98       
Reck slaps his head.
R: what am I thinking of I'll just put in a call to my trusty cloud mechanic MRed. She'll bring the old backup cloud and fix this one.
Reck puts in a special call using his emergancy Angel phone.

M: yes Angel Reckless Rodent what did you do to your lovely new cloud.

R: eruuuummm somebody hit the red button.

M: somebody didn't I tell you don't hit the red button. Now see what you've done. I'll bring that creaky old cloud for you.

R: Cleo now see what you've done MRed will never let me live this down. Will be hear male Angel jokes from now on.

putt putt bang bang putt a cloud clears a palm tree just barely.

M: now here's the old cloud it's going to be a rough ride. Darn Reck look at your lovely new cloud all banged up and missing the tail section. Can't rebuild it here. Your going to have to tow it into the shop.

R: MRed really we're in kind of a hurry.

M: well hurry this I'm not going to be stuck here. Not while you fly off with that painted woman.

C: Painted woman Painted woman I'm the Queen of Egypt. How dare you talk to me that way. You a mere slave to this strange Angel.

M: those are fighting words I'm not a slave to anybody you painted woman you.


Reckless Rodent
HG Halo Alumnus
(id: Angel Reckless Rodent)
posted 05-14-99 17:38 ET (US)     29 / 98       
Pompey and Cicero were dscussing military tactics in a room above the Senate. Several maps of Rome were spread out over a great oaken dining table.

"Right, since Caesar is encamped to the north, that's where we should concentrate the greater body of our forces," suggested Pompey.

"Hmm...isn't that too much like putting all of our eggs into 1 basket," pondered a worried Cicero.

"Not at all. Remember that half of my forces are still camped to the south. If I bring up, say, half of those to block Caesar's crossing of the Tibur, then we can force him to fight where we want him to fight. The remaining quarter can be used in reserve."

"Where do you think he might attack?" asked Cicero.

"Well, I would imagine that he'll come through that gate," said Pompey, pointing to one of the gates in the northern suburbs of Rome. "Hmm...actually, there's no way to be absolutely sure. Sooo, what we need to do is to guard the other gates very heavily. Leave that one undefended, and he'll aim for there. Then, once inside the city, we can close the gate again, trapping him like the rat he is. Then, he doesn't have a chance."

Cicero was impressed. "Well, I must hand it to you, Pompey. You've got a great brain for military tactics. I wouldn't have thought up stuff like that."

"That is my job, Cicero," replied Pompey. "I couldn't write polemical tracts like you do..."

While this was going on, there were stirrings elsewhere...

posted 05-15-99 01:15 ET (US)     30 / 98       
MRed stands there, looking sadly at the damaged BRAND NEW cloud that she had lovingly manufactured with her very own puny hands, while sweating heavily in her enclosed, hot, humid, smelly shop....learning new strings of old cusswords as she was working....

MRed: Reck, I TOLD you NOT to touch the RED button....

RR: It wasn't MY fault, MRed...It was Cleo"s fault...If she hadn't been hitting me....

MRed: Well, PAINTED WOMAN, if you had been behaving.....

Cleo: Well, I NEVER......she huffed.

RR: Shut up, Cleo...It isn't bad enough that you wrecked my beautiful cloud, with the silver lining all black and blue now.....You are really making MRed angry....MRed, you CAN fix it, can't you???

MRed: Welllllllll......Yes, I can....but this time I think I will put a lock on the red button.....It really isn't something you should be playing with....You are really lucky that I had disabled its true feature, and was going to explain it to you next week....cause you will eventually need it....But as of now, I can tell that you aren't ready to be told about it yet.....boy......Angel drivers......

MRed reached into her pocket, and pulled out one of her trusty "herbals", and, staring gloomily at the ruined cloud, said,: Reck, you can take the old one, but be careful not to go above 2000 feet with it....It isn't ready to be flown that high right now...And REMEMBER, please, to stop at the nearest market and pick up more oil. She is leaking badly right now. Take care of her, and PLEASE bring her back in one piece....I need her for parts....

Putting her fingers to her lips, MRed let out a piercing whistle....All of a sudden, two of Tusky's friends appeared over a sand dune....and picking up the dreadfully bent, no longer shiny and white, black and blue cloud, arranged the poor cloud over their backs, and started for the shop....

MRed: Reck, remember the oil, and for Neptune's sake, DON'T TOUCH the purple button on the old cloud......And, as for YOU, PAINTED WOMAN....... Be gone from the cloud before the sun sets, or you will learn of the consequences of raising the IRE of MRed...........Reck, take care, and come and pick up the new cloud at the end of next week....I will have her back in working condition by then, and hopefully she will look as beautiful as she did when I gave her to you......the key, please???

Shaking her head, she climbed onto the donkey that stood waiting patiently for her, and headed him in the direction of the shop....Not really looking forward to sweating again over the cloud.....



ICQ # 38153215

[This message has been edited by MRed94 (edited 05-15-99).]

posted 05-15-99 14:29 ET (US)     31 / 98       
The still night near the soldiers' tents was broken by the shuffle of an approaching elephant.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" mouse asked.

"Mmmmff, mmmmf mmmfffff mff!" came the muffled reply from the rolled-up carpet on Tusky's back.

"Huh?" mouse cocked an eyebrow.

Inconti-patra's head poked out of one end of the carpet. "I said yes, it's going to work. You just get me to Marc Antony's tent, say the carpet's a gift from Caesar, and unroll it. Easy!"

Mouse shrugged. "OK...if you say so..."

"Ouch!" Inconti-patra winced, and looked behind her. "Ankhy - stop sharpening your claws on the carpet! That's ME under there!"

Ankhy purred in apology.

"OK, here we are," mouse said, bringing Tusky to a halt. Incon popped back inside the carpet. She could feel herself being lifted off Tusky's back and carried. She could smell oil lamps and cooking smells; they were inside the tent.

"I bring you a gift from Caesar!" mouse's voice announced, and Incon felt herself suddenly rolling & rolling. The carpet unfurled, and she kept rolling. A pair of sandalled feet brought her to an abrupt halt.

She stood up, adjusted her dress, prepared to look into the eyes of the best Lambada dancer this side of the English Channel.

"Well, Marc Antony, we really must stop meeting like thi-- WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" she found herself standing before a very surprised Roman captain of the guard.

She looked round at mouse, who shrugged apologetically. "Heh heh...wrong tent..." she winced.

She realised there were 30 other legionnaires in the tent with them. All looking either very surprised or very pleased.

"And your name is...?" the captain of the guard waggled his eyebrows at Incon.

A smiling legionnaire approached mouse. "Hallo, saucy," he winked at her.

Incon & mouse looked at one another. "Any ideas?" Incon asked.

Reckless Rodent
HG Halo Alumnus
(id: Angel Reckless Rodent)
posted 05-15-99 14:40 ET (US)     32 / 98       
"So they knew that you were one of my advisors?" enquired Caesar.

"Well, it seems as if that was the case, yes," answered Minimus Effortus. "Cicero confronted me there and then in the Senate with the evidence."

"Hmm...there must be a spy in my camp somewhere. You haven't seen anyone acting suspiciously round here, have you?"

"Apart from that strange guard you posted on the front gate, no."

"Guard? I didn't order any guard to be posted on the front gate. When was this?"

Effortus looked at his wrist-mounted sundial, and then shrugged as he realised it wasn't of much use in a tent. "Oh, can't have been more than 10 minutes ago, O Caesar."

Caesar barked out a command to some of his personal guard. "Oh, don't bother with that," said Effortus. "The bloke was gone when I looked around having gone past. Vanished into this air."

"Vanished, you say? Hmm...interesting."

Eminence Grise
posted 05-15-99 17:50 ET (US)     33 / 98       
A shadow flows between the legionaires and mouse and her friends. It looks vaguely like a dog. The eyes shine red as it solidifies and a young Egyptian steps forward,
"mouse?," he says as twenty odd legionaires try to leave the tent through the back wall.
"Jahakemhotep, you're just in time."
"What do you mean, I was looking for Anthony, I thought you were going to him."
"We were, but...I picked the wrong tent and then these legionaires and Incona and, and..."
"What legionaires?"
"Those behind...oh...never mind."
"Incontinentia, why are you looking so ruffled?"
"I wanted to surprise Anthony..."
Jahakemhotep looks at Ankhy and shakes his head.
"Kitten, these girls confuse me. By the way, your Mum says hi"
The kitten jumps up at the Egyptians outstretched arms and starts purring.
"Let's find Anthony."

He walks out of the tent.
"Come on mouse, Tusky, we might as well follow him."

Meanwhile above the Western Desert.
"I'm thirsty."
" Where are you taking me?
"Have you got any food aboard this contraption."
"Where are we going."
"Oooh, look camels"
Cleopatra natters on and on, while the Angel is beginning to get second thoughts...

Homage to thee, Osiris, Lord of eternity, King of the Gods, whose names are manifold, whose forms are holy, thou being of hidden form in the temples, whose Ka is holy."
-- Book of the Dead (1240 BC)

Reckless Rodent
HG Halo Alumnus
(id: Angel Reckless Rodent)
posted 05-15-99 18:10 ET (US)     34 / 98       
Reck was chuntering along at half his normal speed at only 1000 feet, bearing in mind MRed's warning. "Look, we're only in this predicament because your royal temper got the better of you. If you're not careful I might suddenly remember that I have a prior engagement somewhere."

That silenced Cleopatra. She just sat down on the cloud and sulked.

Half an hour later, a shimmering shape appeared on the horizon. "Here's Alexandria," announced Reck, as they floated over the walls. "I'll drop you outside your palace and you can arrange your own affaris from there."

Cleopatra mumbled something under her breath as she was set down outside the royal residence. Reck headed up into the sky again and floated away...

posted 05-15-99 22:58 ET (US)     35 / 98       
Scene: The brilliantly lit interior of MRed's shop.....

Strings of cusswords float on the air above the shop....Shimmering air floats above the chimney of the shop.....small puffs of blue smoke waft out of the chimney....BANG!!!!

%$#&**&%$# "Angel drivers, indeed!!!!" Mutters MRed, pounding lustily on her anvil with the largest hammer she could find...."I give the man a beautiful cloud, and he goes out and finds the most perfectly awful PAINTED WOMAN to pick up, and WRECKS all of my hard work....&^*%$#!!@()*&^!!\!!

"Promises me that he won't touch the RED button....and what does he do?????"

She puts the hammer down, and walks outside
to the lone palm tree, and taking a "herbal" out of her pocket, she takes a break to calm her jangled, frazzled, tattered nerves....

"I wonder what is going to happen. I made sure I told him not to touch the PURPLE button, but knowing Reck....something is bound to happen....Well, I warned him....."

She sits down at the base of the tree, and leaning against it, smokes the rest of her "herbal", and slowly drifts off to sleep.....



ICQ # 38153215

Eminence Grise
posted 05-16-99 16:15 ET (US)     36 / 98       
Jahakemhotep, followed by mouse, Incon and Tusky walks over to Marc Anthony's tent.
"Hail Anthony, " he says as he opens the tent flap.
"Yikees!" A womens voice sounds.
"What the...Jahakemhotep, where did you come from." Anthony, rises somewhat flushed grabbing at a lionskin. Something is still moving underneath the blankets.
"I've addressed the Senate, they were..surprised, especially Pompey."
Anthony isn't listening, though. His gaze moves past the Egyptian, where another person enters his tent.
"Incontinentia?! Darling, err, where did you come from..?"

Homage to thee, Osiris, Lord of eternity, King of the Gods, whose names are manifold, whose forms are holy, thou being of hidden form in the temples, whose Ka is holy."
-- Book of the Dead (1240 BC)

posted 05-16-99 19:03 ET (US)     37 / 98       
"Oh, Incon, I'm so sorry," mouse whispered sympathetically.

"S'okay," Inconti-patra sniffed. "S'not like this sort of thing hasn't happened to me before. I know just how to handle it." She blinked rapidly, several times, and folded her arms.

The forehead and eyes of a Roman dancing girl - one of last year's regional Lambada champions, mouse noticed - peeked above the skins on Marc Antony's camp bed. Incon gave her a little wave.

"Tusky?" Incon called loudly. Big Tusky put his massive head through the tent flap, right next to Marc Antony.


HG Alumnus
posted 05-18-99 03:58 ET (US)     38 / 98       
Marc Antony is knocked acrossed the tent. There is an elephant chuckle heard from outside.
A runner breathless calls Marc Antony, Marc Antony there is a barge from Egypt at the dock.

MA: oh gods no not another one. (as he picks himself up off the ground)

Incontinentia: LOL ROFL caught but good this time you rat. see what the Queen of Egypt thinks of your cheating ways.

MA: oh Incontinentia honey don't be that way. You know none of them mean anything to me. Only have eyes for you. Your so beautiful and have such great legs.

I: don't even try that with me. BT trunk

MA: oh darn not again owwww owwww Now I'm bruised all over. owww owww


more elephants chuckles from outside the tent.

posted 05-18-99 04:44 ET (US)     39 / 98       
The violence depicted here is solely for the entertainment of those who have frequented this forum and truly understand the nature of the characters displayed in roles other than what normally would be called their natural habitat. Furthermore, if you find yourself totally out of control laughing at the escapades described by the posting contributors and wonder if their virtual lives are just mere extensions of the hilarious realities characterized in this ancient Roman setting. You may express your jealousy here or on your own post, because it shall not daunt this group one little bit. Why because we all love this forum and this is the perfect way to express our deepest and lighthearted feelings. Especially when we know we are having our fun right under Caesar's nose. oh the intrigue is thick...right Marc Anthony??


Eminence Grise
posted 05-19-99 17:15 ET (US)     40 / 98       
Trumpets blare and the flap of the tent is throw open, Four egyptian soldiers trot in, followed by Cleopatra and half a dozen scribes. Jahakemhotep goes down to one knee.
"My queen."
"Rise, my friend and counselor.
Marc Anthony, who are these hussies?"
"Tusky, TRU...mgpf"
Jahakemhotep quickly puts his hand over Incontinentia's mouth.
"Ouch, don't bite"
" 'hotep, why..."
"Incon, don't! Not the queen."
"But she called me a hussy"
"She has never seen anybody else were such short tunics."
"But look at what she's wearing, you can see right through it."
"You can...?" Anthony mumbles
Cleopatra turns to Jahakemhotep. Here stare could freeze the desert.
"You know this person?"
"Errr yes, your majesty."
"Mreow? Purr, purrr"
The ice thaws.
"Ankhy, dear, who's your friend?"
"Oh, how cute a mouse."

The others seem forgotten as the queen finds a comfortable spot and cuddles up with the kitten and his friend.

Homage to thee, Osiris, Lord of eternity, King of the Gods, whose names are manifold, whose forms are holy, thou being of hidden form in the temples, whose Ka is holy."
-- Book of the Dead (1240 BC)

HG Alumnus
posted 05-20-99 09:32 ET (US)     41 / 98       
MA: that's it I can't take this anymore. Clear my tent except for the Queen of the Nile. Cleo baby what a surpise. Didn't expect you.

C: well I heard someone was posing as me with Caesar. You can't even imagine what kind of trip I had. This crazy Golden Hamster picked me up on a cloud. Then it crashed for some unknown reason. Some female slave called me a painted woman. Next was on another very creaky old cloud. My barge hit sand bars and had to fight storms all the way here. Find you with a bunch of women in your tent. Your bruised and battered by an elephant. Just what is a Queen to do.

A: Oh Queen please join our troops they will protect you.

mouse wiggles out from under the side of the tent.

M: BT the Queen is going to need a ride to join the troops now that the games are almost over.

LI: not my elephant. She called me a hussy. That Egyptian Lord is the only thing that saved her.

M: but my Lady Incontinentia we have to have transportation fit for a Queen and we do need the Egyptians.

LI: oh me oh my well guess we can get one of the other elephants to give her a ride. But not BT. Marc Antony can walk. MRed know you've been busy with the cloud and your garden but do you think you could get one of the elephants.

MRed: sure need to test drive the cloud that Angel trashed. Will ask one of the girl elephants. Sure that they will want to be in BT company.


posted 05-21-99 22:39 ET (US)     42 / 98       
Sounds of muted laughter came from Marc Antony's tent. Inconti-patra gave it one last hurt glance, then walked away.

"Did you notice how happy Cleopatra sounds?" she mused.

"I'll say this, for a queen her eyesight's not up to scratch," mouse replied, hurrying to catch up with her. "Did you notice she totally failed to realise you're dressed just like her?"

"Huh?" Incon patted the wig, the dress, held up the Flail & Sceptre. "Oh, yeah...forgot about that..."

"Forget about Marc, Incon," MRed sympathised, patting her on the shoulder.

"Too right," Incon fumed. "All men are bast--"

"Sh!!" Mouse put a hand over her mouth. "Language! D'you want Reck to hear you?"

They all stopped and cast their gazes heavenward. There wasn't a piston-powered cloud in the sky.

"Well," Incon shook with frustration, "all men are...really, really BAD PEOPLE!"

They joined the team of elephant herders long enough for Incon to arrange transport for "that throne-hogging slapper and the really really BAD PERSON" in Tent Nine.

As they walked away they were passed by a Roman soldier. "Evenin', ladies," he said, smiling & doffing his helmet.

"Oh, that's what you ALL say!" Incon exploded, unable to hold it in any more. "At first it's all 'Evenin', ladies' and 'You look lovely tonight, darling' and 'Of course I'll take you for a ride in my new chariot, light of my life'. Then one Lambada and you're off! You're all two-timing BAS--"

MRed, Mouse and 'Hotep struggled to clamp her mouth shut. Mouse smiled apologetically at the soldier, who was looking at them warily and slowly backing away. "Nice night for it," she tried to joke.

"Quick! Get her up on Tusky's back before she blurts out anything else!" 'Hotep ordered.

Sir Dumbicus
posted 05-22-99 06:45 ET (US)     43 / 98       


A LIMEY BIRD with ruffled feathers, yet.

If all men are BA...... and I assure you I know of one who is legitimate, then ALL WOEmen must be kin to the generic title of the female wolf. The exception being the genre of woman such as God created and provided as my spouse. She would cringe at the tripe that comes from today's feminine lesbianic mouth.

Thank you for removing one bookmark from my overloaded browser.

Sir Dumbicus

posted 05-22-99 08:26 ET (US)     44 / 98       
Oops...sorry, Sir Dumbicus. I certainly never meant to offend anyone. Hope your bookmark reference doesn't mean you won't be visiting anymore due to something I said in jest.

Very sorry.

Incontinentia, Chair, RSPCE

Angel Draco
HG Lawgiver
posted 05-23-99 02:48 ET (US)     45 / 98       
Okay, I must say something here. Incontinentia, don't be sorry at all. I have absolutely no idea where Sir Dumbicus is coming from, or why he would even take offense to script from a story, but his coment reaked of "high and mightyness." He's not taking the high road, so don't get knocked into a ditch. No rational thinking would have taken offense to this story--which I find to be great BTW--b/c that's all it is, a story.

Angel "Proconsul" Draco

"All Roads Lead To Caesar III Heaven."
Eminence Grise
posted 05-23-99 06:33 ET (US)     46 / 98       
Draco, fully second your post.
Incon, I didn't take any offense, and I'm in the thick of this weird plot
Sir Dumbicus, please don't leave us with ruffled feathers. As Draco, said, it's part of the story, and I'm, as one of the authors, responsible for the plot as well. I can honestly say I might have made the girls say the same thing if I'd been making the post there and then, which would have had nothing to do with disliking men, but the "hurt feelings" of one of the characters. (Horribly long sentance)
I don't know Incon very well, but I don't believe she has anything more against men than I against women. The other sex vexes us every now and then. Even my parents, who've been married happily for almost 40 years, sometimes get on each others nerves.
The story just led to this bit of complaining about the other sex. This happens in stories, even in literature.
Please don't take offense?

Homage to thee, Osiris, Lord of eternity, King of the Gods, whose names are manifold, whose forms are holy, thou being of hidden form in the temples, whose Ka is holy."
-- Book of the Dead (1240 BC)

Eminence Grise
posted 05-23-99 06:55 ET (US)     47 / 98       
...back to the story...
Tusky trots of into the night. MRed and mouse in front. Jahakemhotep holding on to a weakly struggling Incontinentia behind them. Ankhy is somewhere with the Queen.

Suddenly Incontinentia stops struggling, wraps her arms about the Egyptian and starts crying.
"Oh, 'hotep, why are men like that?"
Jahakemhotep looks confused.
Mouse turns around and says, "put your arms around her, silly"
After a slight hesitation folds his arms around her.
"There, there..." he mumbles.
"He...he was nice to me, really nice and now he...he...only has eyes for this Queen of yours."
She starts crying again.
"All I wanted was to be there for him." sniff "He was the first man that treated me like a woman for so long...they only see my governors robes and want to take advantage of my position." sniff...

"You'll find a nice man, Incon." MRed says, looking over her shoulder, "they exist. Trust me. Somebody out there is looking for you, and nobody else but you. "
"That's true, if Venus wants it, he'll find you, " mouse pipes up.

Tusky plods on...

Homage to thee, Osiris, Lord of eternity, King of the Gods, whose names are manifold, whose forms are holy, thou being of hidden form in the temples, whose Ka is holy."
-- Book of the Dead (1240 BC)

posted 05-23-99 12:22 ET (US)     48 / 98       
Thanks, guys. I was really worried there for awhile. I thought I'd driven a visitor away. (And, for the record, I DON'T think all men are really really BAD PEOPLE. Just 2-timing ancient Roman historical figures.) Back to the story....


" know what they say about Marc Antony," 'Hotep said.

"What?" Inconti-patra looked up and dabbed her eyes with a hanky.

"He can't Lambada to save his life."

Her eyes widened. "No way!"

"It's true," mouse added. "I've heard the same thing."

"But - but I saw him at the Roman regional championships a year ago!" Incon exclaimed.

"Body double," MRed told them.

"No!!" everyone gasped.

MRed nodded. "He's got a look-a-like in his employ who attends the competitions for him. The man's a brilliant military strategist, but on the dancefloor he's got 3 left feet."

Incon thought about this, then straightened up. "Geez, what was I getting so upset about? How silly of me. I mean...the man can't *Lambada*..."

"A lucky escape there, if you ask me," mouse smiled. Ankhy purred.

"Thanks, guys," Incon grinned at them. "You're really great friends." She looked at 'Hotep. " can let go now."

"Huh? Oh!" 'Hotep dropped his arms. "No problem."

"Now that that's settled," MRed said, "does anyone have any idea where we're headed?"

[This message has been edited by Incontinentia (edited 05-23-99).]

HG Alumnus
posted 05-23-99 17:21 ET (US)     49 / 98       
M: since the games are over I think we ought to see if we can rejoin the army.

crowds dancing in the streets. Passing around cups of wine. Fights over which were the best players.

A: Lady Incontinentia maybe you could get BT to pick us up. Then we could ride through the crowds. He keeps shying away everytime mouse and I get near him.

BT: Lady you know that darn mouse tickles when she runs up my leg. That rotten little kitten sticks claws in me and that hurts. But it really hurts when it's my trunk. They did all the time you were gone.

LI: now BT you know they didn't mean to do that. Come on big boy here's a bag of peanuts please give everybody a lift. Oh does anybody know where that body double for Marc hangs out. Maybe we could give him a lift too.

M: oh no here she goes a again. She'll do anything to have a dance partner. Specially if he's a hunk.


posted 05-25-99 02:21 ET (US)     50 / 98       
Mouse looked at MRed, and said, "why, MRed, I thought YOU were the one who knew where we were going......?"

MRed: ME?? Why would I know something like that>???? I just mind my business and ride along, hoping to find someone in need of a nice "herbal"....speaking of which....Incon....YOU really need one....You need to calm down a bit.....

BT: OH! MRed, DON"T give her that....Last time you did, she made me jump hurdles in a tutu......



ICQ # 38153215

[This message has been edited by MRed94 (edited 05-25-99).]

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