Here goes:
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Those darn days are here again,
When you seem to do no right.
Everything is just insane,
Whether seen in dark or light.
First you set the clock for eight,
Then decide to sleep some more.
Bell starts ringing, snooze you hit,
Get on with the sleep and snore.
Then at last you rise from bed,
No excuse but late for work.
After all that's done and said,
All you boss is but a jerk.
No time left to eat breakfast,
Wrap some bread and stuff in case.
Check the car - the fuel line's burst,
You can just see your boss's face.
So you cann in for a cab,
Cross your fingers, it's rush hour.
Just your luck, he loves to gab,
Can't seem to see you face's dour.
Your boss stands impatiently,
Asks you why you're two hours late.
Mumbling out an apology,
As you think you should have ate.
So you wait until he's gone,
Time to get your bread to eat.
But luck's as bad as at dawn,
Jelly's squashed like grinded meat.
You get set for serious work,
Damn it, now the 'puter's down.
wond'ring where your boss might lurk,
While the keys you pound and pound.
All day long you seem to get,
Angry clients and irate guests.
All they do is shout and fret,
As you think "God! What a mess!"
Five o'clock at long last comes,
You can't wait to get back home.
Time to rest those tired arms,
Call a cab to bring you home.
You despair when your ride comes,
It's the same one from before.
No more talking, now he hums,
You scream inside "ARRGH! NO MORE!"
At long last the torture's over,
Too tired to eat you get in bed.
As you creep under the cover,
Find it just as cold as jade.
What a day it's been, you think,
Hard boss, crazy rides - one bad day.
You check the date to find a link,
It's thirteenth, a black Friday!
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One fine day
I went on down
To the store
To buy a computer
Had no clue
To what I wanted
Red white blue
Or pink mauve yellow?
At the store
The salesman asked
"Desktop, laptop,
Notebook or Imac?"
I just said
"I've no idea."
As he rambled on
'Bout Pentium, RAM and ROM
Didn't know
'Bout who's he talking
Just pointed at random
And said "That one."
Went on home
To play some games
Pushed and pressed
But nothing came on
Finally found
The power button
Pushed that and waited
While it came on
At long last
The pretty screen comes
Now it's time
To have some fun
Found no place
For those silver disks
So I broke them in half
And gave my 'puter "ears"
Pushed a button
Out slid a tray
Hey, I thought, this thing comes
With a coffee cup holder!
Pressed some keys
A screen came up
Asked me to push
The "Any Key" button
Hours later
I gave up
Found a cup holder and a large coin slot
But couldn't get the thing to work
So the next day
I went back
To return it
And get cash back
He took one look
His eyes rolled up
Gave me a hundred
For the grand I paid
"That's it" I said
No more computers
I'd have an easier time
Programming my VCR
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[This message has been edited by MDD (edited 11-17-2000).]